Smoke Fast, Drink Furious.
How Familiar Habits Can Hijack Your Well-being — And What to Do About It
Nobody’s born with a cigarette in their mouth or a need for alcohol just to have a conversation. These things get learned — often quietly, over time — and they can be unlearned too.
Often, as a social pattern, the need to accept and be accepted leads us to adopt the learned behaviours of others. The mind forms these associations with people you feel familiar with — even though you're no longer close. The sense of trust remains, and somehow it's now repurposed as a method for stress release.
In moments when you don’t quite know what to do, you light up.
When you're stuck for something to say, you down another beer or pour another spirit (excuse the pun).
You feel grown-up, 100% in control — only to wake up the next morning with a sense of shame about something you said or did. Another day buried by demands, stress rising like steam in a pressure cooker with no valve, brewing fumes of tension in your mind.
You start to believe this is normal — because all the other smokers and drinkers seem to be in control too.
But deep down, you know that the speed and volume of your habits are like tsunamis inside your mind.
They quietly destroy parts of your relationships, career prospects, and the building blocks of your physical health.
Negative habits or addictions seldom build anything. Or if they do, they build with foundations that are unstable, destined to collapse.
They act like a thief who throws a bone to distract the guard dog — sneaking in through a gap to steal whatever they want.
Some people have let in several thieves over the years, and lost so much — from creativity and loyalty to family and integrity ( and more)— until it feels like there’s no hope of stopping them or returning to rebuild what was lost.
Some still believe they can stay in that place and remain invincible forever.
And others begin to notice the pattern — how it speeds up, how sometimes it rests, but always returns more furious and volatile.
Take William.
He began smoking and drinking as a teen.
It started as experimentation and wanting to be accepted — those "don’t let the parents know" moments.
Later, alcohol became a welcome gesture from friends, peers, and even his own parents.
That dizzy intoxication created a sense of lightness, of being one of the group — and “great mates” came easily through shared drinking and smoking.
Communication wasn’t always easy for William, but he had strong opinions and insight into daily life.
His career was progressing, and people recognised his intelligence, his love ability even though appeared unsure at times.
But in our sessions, sadness surfaced.
He shared his pain over two unsuccessful relationships and his fear of never finding real love — feeling like a failure.
Smoking and drinking became his way of opening up, expressing desires he couldn’t always voice clearly.
But now, that freedom was showing up less and less.
The more he wanted to share his truth, the more he reached for a cigarette or another drink.
The more he drank or smoked, the more he felt happy and shameful — at the same time.
The more he felt conflicted, the more he repeated the same cycle.
He began to feel fake, disconnected from what he truly believed.
And in the silence that followed, the awkwardness would grow.
You get the picture.
“How long is this allowed to keep you?”
William looked at me — as if, for the first time, he realised that what he thought he was controlling… had actually been controlling him all along.
When our subconscious mind clings to bad habits as ways of connecting with the familiar, they become our "norm."
Even if that norm is painful or destructive, we hold onto it — afraid of what might happen if we let go.
But what if letting go led to:
Healthier emotional boundaries in relationships
Greater clarity and integrity in your work
Long-term improvements in your physical health
Better sleep and deeper rest
And above all, a real sense of freedom?
What many call “misalignment” is simply a mismatch between what the conscious mind says it wants and what the unconscious mind still believes it needs.
To bring clarity and lasting change, we must understand the emotional need beneath the habit.
Learning how to communicate better — with others and with yourself — and recognising your own personal boundaries can be life-changing.
How Hypnotherapy Helps
Hypnotherapy can help you reprogram and update the inner beliefs that keep you stuck in unwanted habits — and align them with your desired sobriety, wellness, and clarity.
Paired with mental wellness coaching, it becomes a powerful combination.
Together, they create lasting impact across relationships, career, and overall well-being.